About The Book

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In  the  opening  section of Badgirl,  I  link together the truths  about  my  abusive  family  chronologically.  It  is  raw   and  ragged  just  like  the  devastating  impact  of  my  families  abuse  and  neglect.  I  use  the  term  the   Gray  Family  Motto  to  describe  the  cultural constant  of  my  family:  M-L  is  a  BADGIRL.

My  Black  Heart  begins  when  I  was  16  and  began  dating  my  first  husband.    I  examine  the  psychology  of  how  and  why  I , as  an  educated  feminist,  stayed  in  an  abusive  relationship  for  over  27  years.  The  connections between  the  torments  I  endured  from  birth  and  what  I  survived  in  my  first  marriage  thread  together      an  understanding  of  how  my  CPTSD   developed  and  intensififed  throughout  my  life.    The   scars  of  my  childhood  abuse  and  neglect  wired  me  to  trauma  bond  to  the   cold,  vicious  man  I  married.   

As my journey into discovering the truth and breaking down the gaslighting of the Gray Family Motto  progressed, my real struggles began.  Finding my soulmate and learning how fantastic living in light and love feels, compounded my battle to overcome the scars of my abusers. My grief around the life I lost  caused my blackness  to become all consuming.  My recovery has been slow and difficult,  but I am healing.  I am moving towards the light with the love and support of my Inner Child and Inner Young Mom.